@GeekWriterRob here. Today we welcome a guest reviewer, Sarah of Atlantis (@ofatlantis_sarah), for an entertaining female perspective of the newest comic book adaptation. She takes it away from here:
No spoilers. Someone would kill me.
So I arrived to my destination, the Salem Regal Theater. 11 screens were 98% sold out showing Aquaman for Amazon Prime members. At least 10 females (I think) were dressed as Mera, played by the undeserving actress Amber Heard.
They let me in. I was in the front in a leather recliner that vibrated violently anytime Jason Momoa came on screen to show off those hip lines and flex those abs for me. So far so good.
First comes this broad on the screen who’s rather blurry, ala Joan Collins in Season 8 of Dynasty. James Wan must have commissioned a Vasoline factory to supply the lens glop for Nicole Kidman… who appears spread eagle on a rock unconscious.
My thoughts on Nicole Kidman: Instead of seeing her as little Arthur’s mommy, it was “Oh look it’s Nicole Kidman. The Scientology SP who was married to Tom Cruise.” How did she, as pale as a ghost and a guy with barely a tan… make a Samoan baby?
In jumps Khal Drogo in black jeans and a wallet chain fresh from the ocean onto a submarine. Ok. He fights in one of the greatest fights since Captain America’s elevator scene in The Winter Soldier.
Black Manta is born. I know this is a first movie in a franchise, but Black Manta is criminally underused and may have one of the best montages I’ve ever seen, as well as one of the greatest, realistic costumes in the history of DC on the screen. My rating for Black Manta: 4 Golden Tridents
Amber Heard: GTFO.
Jason Momoa: Gets the job done.
Nicole Kidman: “Oh look it’s Nicole Kidman.”
The dad from The Conjuring: A typical scene chewing villain.
My rating: Amber Heard makes this plummet to 2.8 Golden Tridents
The dialogue and story:
Granted. This is a foundation of a franchise movie. I’ll forgive it a bit because there’s a lot to get to. The storyline feels rushed. You have no idea how things get to where they are in a few cases but you accept it because it’s a great ride.
The dialogue: UGH. There are so many cliches and clunker lines in this thing. But again, I’ll go easy, since they have to appeal to the kiddies. I won’t share ONE line here, but one quick scene for example: Arthur Curry finds himself accidentally holding Mera’s hand after he tries to protect her. They glance at each other and the music swells. They quickly pull their hands away… OK move on.
My rating for dialogue and story: Three golden tridents.
Jason Momoa kills it in the fight scenes and they position him perfectly through CGI or whatever so it’s the opposite of a Transformers movie fight. You can follow it. The underwater scenes are impeccable. Looks real to me.
The costumes are insane. The Black Manta costume looks so real and the detail on Momoa’s eventual costume is genius. Even his little fish scale tattoos are a great touch.
My rating for costume: Four golden tridents.
Overall. I think it’s better than Wonder Woman, which was over-hyped anyway. This movie will blow box office records off the charts. There was applause at the end and laughter throughout. Everyone stayed through the credits until the end.
I rate this 3.5 Tridents. No Amber Heard would have put this up to a 4.